The Worthington ALC Insider
Volume 1, Issue 5 December 12, 2003
Man has baby – Students stunned!! By Sirjio BlueArm Students at the Worthington Area Learning Center (ALC) were stunned to learn that one of their male teachers gave birth to a child on December 8, 2003. Dean of Students Paul Langseth made the surprising announcement to the students saying only that “Mr. Lowry had a daughter yesterday. Please congratulate him when he returns.” Langseth was referring to long-time ALC teacher Ray Lowry. “I’m shocked, shocked,” said ALC student Tammy Jiminez. “I knew he was getting a bit big around the middle, but I thought he’d just been eating too much.” Tammy added, “I didn’t know men had babies anyway. What’s up with that?” Students eagerly sought information on the internet and discovered that Lowry had, indeed, given birth to a daughter named Sophia Elizabeth at Sioux Valley Hospital in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. “When it’s on the internet, it’s got to be true. That’s what I’ve always been told,” said ALC student Ramon Barraza. Other students were skeptical about the	news. “I’m sure Mr. Lanseth meant that Mr. Lowry’s wife Mayra had a baby,” said fellow student Angela Ruiz. “Some of the people at this school are so stupid, I swear.” Others, however, disagreed. “Mr. Langseth said that Mr. Lowry had a baby,” said student Jesse Leon. “Now why would he tell us that if it weren’t true?” The mystery deepened when Lowry returned to work on Thursday and verified to one inquiring student that he did have a baby. When asked how that could possibly be, Lowry replied, “You figure it out, smart guy.” Dean of Students Langseth was unavailable for comment as this issue went to press. In the meantime, students await clarification regarding this mystery.

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Signed Up For Slaughter By Zara Nasers Would you respond back to an internet advertisement that was looking for a "fit-man for slaughter"? A computer expert named Armin Meiwes, from Germany, posted this advertisement on the internet. Unbelievably, a Berlin man did respond to Meiwes’ advertisement. In March of 2001 the two met at Meiwes, home in central Germany, where he videotaped himself killing the Berlin man with a kitchen knife. The man lived for almost ten hours before he bled to death. Meiwes then cut up the body, froze it, then ate over half of it. The German man was arrested a year later and is still waiting for his sentencing. Thankfully, Meiwes never pursued his other major interest – becoming a district school lunch coordinator.

Idea for a nice date By Heather Mondloch You have a date but you don’t exactly know where to take them, here’s an idea that won’t put you in debt by the end of the night. A date doesn’t necessarily need to be in a fancy restaurant, it just needs to be in a relaxing place or a place that you can go to have fun together -- a memorable place like the park or the beach, maybe even going out on the lake. That’s fun when it’s warmer outside. But for all the people who can’t stand the cold, then staying inside is nice too. You could go to a restaurant like the Ground Round. It has a nice atmosphere and has exceptionably good food. It’s a little on the expensive side but if you really like your date, then it could be a good start. If you’re looking for a place that isn’t so expensive, then you could try a place like Perkins. Their prices are a bit cheaper, but the food is still good. If your not exactly comfortable taking them on a date by yourself, then see if maybe some friends want to go on a double date. You could go to Acme in Sioux Falls, to dance and party, or you could all go to a movie at one of the movie theaters. Sometimes you might just want to kick back and relax, while drinking a hot cup of coffee/cappuccino at the Coffee Nook. That is always a nice thing to do on a cold day to warm yourself up. Last but not least, you could just fix a meal at your own house and invite your date over. You could sit and watch a movie afterwards.

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Lifestyles By Sara Schirmacher

Chronic headaches

are no joke

Some teachers may think that someone who has a serious headache is just using another excuse to miss school. But many people, whether teenagers or adults, get headaches, some more often than others. Today these headaches are known as “Chronic Daily Headaches.”

This condition has existed for centuries. According to the Associated Press, about 1 to 5 percent of the population suffers from these headaches. You may think this isn’t a lot, but in reality it is. If these headaches are left untreated, the severity of them can increase. According to the Associated Press, an 18-year-old St. Cloud girl missed 100 days of her senior year. One of her headaches lasted about a month!

Missing school because of a serious headache should be excused in my opinion. Many parents don’t believe their children when they say that they have a serious headache. They just think their children are complaining and don’t want to go to school. But if a headache is interfering with your life, then you probably need to seek medical attention.

So to those who think headaches are just an excuse to miss school, think again. Headaches can be serious enough to lead someone into the emergency room.

Your Health By Patricia Velasco-Cerda

It’s Flu season, again

The flu season came early this year. The flu virus can be dangerous if not treated. Throughout the United States, people are already dying because of the flu. Dozens of children have missed school in Worthington because of the flu.

In Iowa, a 20-month-old baby died last Tuesday. More than 20 people have already died in the U.S. from the flu.

One of the simplest things you can do to prevent the flu is to wash your hands often. When you wash your hands often you prevent the spreading of virus. The best way to prevent the flu virus, of course, is to take a flu shot. But even if you take the shot you should be careful -- sometimes you can still get the flu.

Symptoms of the flu include fever, headache, muscle-ache, cough, and shortness of breath, chills, nasal discharge, fatigue, sweating, loss of appetite, stuffy congested nose, and throat

If you get the flu and decide to go and buy an over-the-counter medicine, make sure you look at the ingredients especially if you are combining it with prescription drugs. If you have any questions, be sure to ask the pharmacist.

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It was snowing outside and was too cold to play, so we went to the movie on that blustery day. The hottest new flick at the theater we were at, was the one and the only, The Cat in the Hat. You once read this story when you were a kid, but this cat does some things the other cat never did. Like coughing up hairballs – gross stuff like that, no, this isn’t your grandmother’s Cat in the Hat. The old cat was naughty – make no mistake about that, but the new cat’s a scoundrel, a cruel low-down rat. He’s mean and he’s nasty – he’s totally rude, he’s a ganster, a psycho, a prison-bound dude. The old cat taught a lesson to good girls and boys, about minding your mothers and picking up toys. But the lesson taught by this new feline pest, is to do what you want and to heck with the rest. So if the weather turns cold and you’ve nowhere to go, we advise you to go see some other picture show. For if old Dr. Suess were to see this new flick, he’d turn in his grave – he’d turn over quick

NBA Update By Eddie Torres The Minnesota Timberwolves fell yesterday to the Golden State Warriors. Jason Richardson had 30 points, nine rebounds and five assists for the Golden State win. Kevin Garnett scored 33 points and grabbed 14 rebounds. With this loss Minnesota, ended a three game winning streak. The final score was 98-95. The Philadelphia 76ers beat the Detroit Pistons 78-76. This game was important for Philadelphia and was a well-earned win playing without the league high scorer Allen Iverson. Aaron Mckie did a great job filling in for Allen scoring a season high 21 points and blocking a shot as time expired for Philadelphia. Toronto Raptors player Vince Carter scored 22 points Donyell Marshall and Jalen Rose both scored 20 a piece. Rookie Lebron James had 18 points to lead the Cavaliers. The final score was Raptors 100, Cavaliers 93. New Jersey Nets beat the Seattle Supersonics with Richard Jefferson scoring a season high of 31 points for the Nets. Jason Kidd added 14 points, 10 assists and eight rebounds. Ronald Murray had 27 points for Seattle. Seattle has lost three in a row now with this loss. The final score was Nets 101, Supersonics 88.

The Insider December 12, 2003 Page 5

Words of Wisdom From Crystal Melendez

We are approaching the season, and everyone knows what it is.  This is the season of giving, the season of love, and the season of salvation.  However, while this is about Christmas, this is also going to be about Christmas as it is always portrayed on the great medium known as television.

     Every year as we approach Christmas, we are bombarded with "True Meaning of Christmas" messages on television. If the people who operate TV networks understood what they were talking about, we could applaud their efforts to spread a proper Christmas spirit. Unfortunately, as they do with so many other issues, TV producers are propagating a false message. Worse still, their message is in tune with, and reinforces, the materialism of our 21st century American culture.

Many of us would equate materialism with selfishness, greed, and lack of love. That would fit well with the way TV purports to fight materialism. The key is that selfishness and greed are attitudes; ways that all people feel some of the time, and some people feel all of the time.

Materialism is a philosophy, not an attitude. It is a way of thinking that discounts the

spiritual dimension in life, placing all importance on material and emotional well-being. Our attitude problems are symptoms of materialism. Attacking them without rooting out the underlying cause is futile.

The shows in question do indeed try to demonstrate that we should be kind, generous, and unselfish during the Christmas season. Nobody could fault them for that. In fact, I would have looked for something else to write about if the shows were not advertised as teaching the "True Meaning of Christmas." Where they fall down is in attacking the attitudes that arise from materialism while presenting Christmas as a basically materialistic festival.

     Christmas is not just a time for people to practice being nice to each other. It is not reserved for making ourselves feel good by giving material or emotional gifts to others. Christmas is the culmination of Advent, the season set aside by Christians to meditate on our sins, and our need for a Savior from sin.

     Sure, I'll watch some Christmas specials with my family this year. We like the warm feeling they give as much as anybody. But let's all make sure that we, and those around us, know why people celebrate this holiday year after year; it is the day when several thousand years of prophesies about our salvation came to fruition.  It should be a day of faith, not materialism.