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The Worthington ALC Insider
Volume 3, Issue 10 December 5, 2005
Going the extra mile for The Green Mile The ninth grade English class at the ALC took on a large literature task this year. The class read The Green Mile by Stephen King. The Green Mile is a serial novel coming to its readers through six installments. The students made their way through the nearly six-hundred award-winning pages of The Green Mile. A story is set in 1934 about the lives of prison guards on death row leading up to the execution of a wrongly accused man who has the power of faith healing. The students put together a packet in which they wrote about the characters, setting, plot, and theme of the story. Their final project was to creatively show Mr. Hyvari what they learned. Everyone chose to design a poster containing pictures and elements of the story except for one student. Audrey Spurgeon finished the book long before the rest of the class and had many deep conversations with Mr. Hyvari on characters and story. When Mr. Hyvari mentioned the possibility of creating a three-dimensional project for the final, Audrey jumped on this idea. (Continued à)	Audrey Spurgeon and her model of E-Block For the next couple of weeks Audrey came to class every day but didn’t say much about her final project. Just before Thanksgiving break Audrey and family carried in the most impressive project ever seen by students and staff at the ALC. Audrey built a huge model of E-Block from the story made from nearly TWO-THOUSAND popsicle sticks. The model is a completely accurate, right down to Old Sparky and Mabel’s hairdryer (ask a King fan.) The project must be seen to be appreciated. You can see it for yourself by clicking on the link below. The ALC truly appreciates it when a student is willing to go the extra mile. Click here to see a video of Audrey’s Green Mile Project…

The ALC Insider December 5, 2005 page 2

A threat to our way of life… By Raul Avila The ruling Liberal Party of Canada lost a “no confidence” vote in the Canadian House of Commons last week. Prime Minister Paul Martin was forced to announce that the government has officially been dissolved. As a result, Canadian elections have been set for January 23, 2006. The result of the January elections will tell who rules Canada – Martin’s Liberal Party, the Conservative Party, the Bloc Quebecois (the party that represent Canadians who don’t even speak English), or the New Democratic Party. In the meantime, Canada is essentially left without anyone really in charge. What does this mean for the United States? Could it spell trouble? Do 40 million leaderless souls wandering the barren steppes to the north pose a threat to us? Many Americans are unaware that Canada is now the second largest country in the world and that 90% of Canadians live within 100 miles of the United States! It’s the largest undefended border in the world. While many Americans worry about the lack of security at the U.S.-Mexican border, the true threat may be at the border in the north. Why? Because those Canadians are so sneaky. You can’t even tell who they are! They walk among us undetected. When you look at them, you can’t even tell they’re Canadian. (Continued à)

Are these people a threat to us? Game Show host Alex Trebec, actors Mike Myers and Michael J. Fox, actress Pamela Sue Anderson, former Vikings coach Bud Grant. They are all Canadians, but can you tell by looking at them? And how about those Canadian teachers in our schools who teach kids to spell color colour, and center centre? It’s time to stop worrying about the Mexican border and start focusing on the real threat to America -- those awful Canadians to the north. Perhaps we could build a Great Wall as the Chinese did to solve the problems they had with their northern neighbors. Or perhaps we could launch an invasion. After all, as a Canadian would say, the best defence is a good offence. Click here to see a video on the Canadian threat

The ALC Insider December 5, 2005 page 3
The problem with bondage pants By Sergio Chaparro The High School in Winona had a dispute with their student body. The problem was that some of the students were wearing "bondage" pants. What are bondage pants you might ask? Bondage pants are a style of pants worn by people who listen to rock and roll. They are big, baggy pants that sometimes have chains and/or straps hanging off them. They had a problem with the pants so they banned students from wearing them in Winona High School. (Continued à)	What is seriously the problem with bondage pants? I understand that the school doesn't want to be sued by parents of children who fall down stairs after tripping over someone's pants, but will this seriously happen? Who weareth the pants of shame? The reason for banning bondage pants may be logical, but it's a stupid crybaby act. If those pants are banned, then low cut khakis should be banned because they grab sexual attention at school. Caprice pants should be banned because they just look stupid all together. Where does it all end? Bondage 1: The tenure or service of a serf or slave 2: A state of being bound by compulsion (as of law or mastery) 3: Servitude or subjugation to a controlling person or force. Animation by RW51
Stupid Laws in the State of South Dakota It is illegal to fall asleep in a cheese factory. Movies may not show police officers being struck, beaten, or otherwise treated in any disrespectful manner. If there are more than five Native Americans on your property, you may shoot them. In Watertown, South Dakota, it is illegal for horses to enter the Fountain Inn unless those horses are wearing pants. In Spearfish, South Dakota, if more than three Native Americans are seen together in public, they are considered a war party and may be fired upon. Click here to read an important correction to this story…

The ALC Insider December 5, 2005 page 4

A Modest Proposal for immigration reform

By Martin Lopez

Illegal immigration is rapidly becoming one of the hottest political topics in the country. So President George Bush went to El Paso last week to talk about “border security.” Bush told the crowd, “We have a responsibility in the government to enforce our border.”

Thousands of immigrants cross the border every day. Why? They are in search of jobs. Many U.S. industries and businesses rely on these immigrants to take jobs other Americans won’t take. These immigrants do work others don’t want to do, they pay a lot of taxes, and they keep they keep the economy moving, especially in factory-towns like Worthington.

Hmmm. So what’s the problem? It’s unclear. But at least President Bush has a solution for it. While speaking in El Paso, Bush proposed a “temporary worker” program. “We need to have a rational temporary worker plan,” said the President.

(Continued à)

Caution – Immigrants in the area

Under Bush’s plan, thousands of immigrants can come here to do back-breaking work for low pay. They’ll pay a lot of taxes while here, but won’t get to use the social services those taxes pay for. When we don’t need them anymore, we’ll give them the boot. This is the temporary worker plan.

Here’s another idea: Round up workers in foreign countries, lock them in chains, force them onto boats, bring them here against their will, then force them to work for nothing. Oh that’s right, we already tried that once.

The ALC Insider December 5, 2005 page 5

Myths about immigrants and immigration Immigration is a hot topic in Worthington. Just last week, Governor Pewlenty was in town discussing this very issue with Worthington Mayor Al Oberloh. Immigration is bound to be a top issue in the next round of elections. There are a lot of truths told about immigrants and immigration, but a lot of myths as well. We at The Insider decided to present you with the top four myths concerning immigrants and immigration. Myth #1: America is being overrun with immigrants. Fact: Foreign born people in this country currently make up 8% of the total population. From 1870 to 1920 (the golden age of immigration), the figure of foreign born people in the U.S. made up over 15% of the total. Myth #2: Immigrants come here to steal our jobs. Fact: Immigrants have always taken jobs that other Americans don’t want. We see that right here in Worthington. Moreover, immigrants often create a lot of jobs themselves by opening stores and other businesses. We also see that here in Worthington where at least 28 restaurants, grocery stores, laundromats, auto repair services, etc., are owned and run by immigrants. (Continued à)

Myth #3: Immigrants are a drain on the economy. Fact: According to the President’s Council of Economic Advisors, “immigrants generate significantly more in taxes paid than they cost in services rendered.” In addition, immigrant couples typically have more children than American-born couples. This produces more future workers making the future of the Social Security system more secure. Myth #4: Immigrants refuse to assimilate and become Americans. Fact: First generation immigrants often continue to use their own language and preserve much of the culture of the home country, but their children always assimilate. Meanwhile, aspects of immigrants’ culture often become part of our American culture. It’s the way it’s always been and, again, we see that right here in Worthington. Immigration has always been part of the American story. Get over it, people.

The ALC Insider November 28, 2005 page 6

Moon Poem

Light as air,

Floating somewhere,

That I have never been before

To me it seems,

It’s like a dream.

As is I’m so close to heaven’s

Door

My starry eyes, signify

My utter surprise

Of how beautiful it is here

The silence is cherished

While thinking of those

Who have perished

Listening to angels whispering

In my ear

Quatrain

Winding down so solemn a stair

Twenty thousand thoughts with no one to care

Feeling like a leaf on the ground,

Only to be stepped on by people around.

My feet touch the cold wood floor.

Crying until my eyes can’t burn anymore.

Staring out the window with blurred sight,

Wishing god would take me tonight.

Untitled

Tears

Flowing

Down my cheek

Sinfully, it

Burns

Cinquain

Fluffy white puppies

Cuddly, huggable, curious

Romps around the house

Makes me feel all warm inside

Stinky doggy

This Week’s Separated-at-Birth

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Ron Hyvari -- Teacher Editor Ray Lowry -- Teacher Publisher